The Sarcastic Saga of Princess Clichelia and Sir Yawnalot

The Sarcastic Saga of Princess Clichelia and Sir Yawnalot

Well, well, well, gather ’round children, and let me regale you with *yet another* tale of a beautiful princess, who, shockingly, became the center of a fantastical adventure. Truly groundbreaking, I know.

Ahem. There was this kingdom, you see, with a name so grand and significant that it was almost laughable – **Dramatis Tedium**. In the heart of the kingdom stood an illustrious palace, glimmering in the sunlight like dew on a moldy leaf. Isn’t that just divine?

Now then, it was in this very palace that our so-called beautiful princess resided. Poor thing. Princess Clichelia – for that was her name, whether she liked it or not – was pretty as a picture. She had hair as golden as the afternoon sun that streamed through her *perfectly clean* window panes and eyes as blue as the least polluted puddle in the realm.

Despite her obvious **perfection**, she often found herself sighing wistfully whilst staring out at her perfectly manicured gardens and the kingdom beyond. You would think one would grow weary of being so overwhelmingly attractive and charmed, but Clichelia was nothing if not full of energy.

One day, while admiring her impeccably untangled golden locks in the reflection of her crystal-clear pond, she spotted a figure in the distance. A handsome stranger clad in an entirely necessary suit of armor that gleamed like the sun itself was approaching.

No one in Dramatis Tedium had ever seen such shine on a person before; even Clichelia’s hair paled in comparison. Her interest piqued, she decided to venture out and meet this stranger.

As they came face to face, Princess Clichelia softly gasped – for he was a knight, all strong and chivalrous (and completely without ego). Sir Yawnalot was his name, and he had come seeking an adventure worthy of his wits and charm. Perhaps he had finally found it in Princess Clichelia, whose beauty could blind mortal men and leave them stumbling about like drunken hogs.

Now, as fate would have it, a prophecy (because *of course* there was a prophecy) foretold the coming of a knight in shiny armor who would save the realm from some sort of catastrophically improbable doom. Princess Clichelia and Sir Yawnalot, being the inquisitive and valiant individuals they were, immediately decided to take matters into their own hands.

For days and nights, they researched the catacombs and libraries of Dramatis Tedium, searching for clues to reveal the nature of this impending doom. What they discovered chilled their very souls. Far beyond the kingdom, in lands unknown, there was a beast of unimaginable ferocity – a creature with scales as black as midnight and breath as hot as… well, fire, I suppose.

Yes, you guessed it – a dragon.

Our intrepid duo embarked on a perilous journey – because what’s more original than a quest to slay a dragon that threatened their existence? Their path was fraught with danger – like mildly irritable squirrels and butterflies that *almost* flew into their eyes. But they pressed on; nothing could stop them from reaching their destination.

At last, they came upon the dreaded dragon’s lair. It was every bit as fearsome as the prophecies had foretold. The lair was built into a mountain – clever choice for a creature that could fly – and guarded by goblins so revoltingly hideous that one could barely tell them apart from drunken trolls.

Inching closer to the entrance, Yawnalot drew his sword – a blade that shimmered with power yet weighed less than a feather – while Clichelia stood ready with her enchanting beauty to distract whatever foul creatures lay in wait.

Suddenly, they were set upon by said goblins. Sir Yawnalot fought bravely, his sword an extension of his very soul, while Clichelia batted her eyelashes and gazed into their eyes, sending the misshapen beings into such rapture that they forgot to actually fight back.

With the goblins utterly enchanted by her beauty, Clichelia and Yawnalot ventured further into the lair. And then, there it was: the dragon whose ferocity could only be matched by…

You know what? I can’t even finish this story. It’s just so *original* and *suspenseful*, I wouldn’t dare spoil the ending for you. Let’s just assume that they all lived *happily ever after*, shall we? The end.

Author: Opney. Illustrator: Dalli. Publisher: Cyber.